We’re looking for a Few Good Men

WARNING! Witnessing the remarkable change and growth in the boys over the school year, and knowing you are part of that change, may become habit forming.

Thanks for your interest in becoming a Boys to Men Mentor. By visiting this page you have already taken the first step, but probably have a lot of questions. Hopefully this page will answer those questions.

Before we get started, here’s a few questions for you.

Why are you here? Stop and think about that for a moment.

Did you have a great Dad, a crappy Dad or like most of our boys… no Dad?

Did you have a mentor/role model when you were a teenager, or were you left to figure out manhood on your own?

Did anyone really listen to you when you were a teenager?

Do you remember what kind of man you wanted to be when you were a teenager? Are you that man today?

We are looking for a few good men, not a few perfect men. We are looking for men willing to admit they are not perfect: men willing to share the truth about the struggles all men face: men willing to join our community of boys and men on a shared journey to be the best men they can be.

Have we piqued your curiosity? Keep reading.

The power and success of Boys to Men comes from a simple concept:  COMMUNITY. 

The school-based group mentoring circles provide a unique and safe entry point for boys and men to get to know each other, and begin the community building process.

Instead of asking mentors to “go it alone,” we offer men the safety, support and connection of a community of men.

Boys have multiple, positive role models, including mentors, group facilitators and their peers.

The consistency of weekly group meetings creates connection and trust that allows the boys and mentors to talk openly about the challenges in their lives.

In addition to weekly groups, we offer bi-monthly weekend activities that allow boys and mentors to connect on a personal level (surf nights, fishing trips, football games, camp-outs and leadership development weekends).

IT’S A SIMPLE CONCEPT.  Boys and men spending time together, having fun, listening to, learning from and counting on each other.

What, Why, Where, When and How Long

What we do  –  The Boys to Men method is to provide a group forum where the boys and men go around the room and discuss their problems and challenges.  The mentors contribute by sharing the mistakes and poor choices they made as teenagers, and use their experience to help boys avoid making the same mistakes.

Why?Only you can answer this question.  

Where  –  We have 31 weekly group meetings in 20 schools and 3 open community meetings throughout San Diego County.

WhenThe majority of our meetings are held during the school day. Click here for a complete list of group locations and times.

How long  –  We ask for a minimum commitment of one hour a week for one school year.

Test driveWe encourage prospective mentors to visit a group and “kick the tires” before making a commitment (please call us first).

Training    All mentors are required to attend a mentor orientation and receive ongoing feedback and training from Boys to Men staff before and after the weekly group sessions.

Our Guiding Principles

  1. We build communities of men who model what it takes to be a good man.
  2. We don’t tell boys how to be good men; we show them.
  3. We don’t give advice or lectures. We simply tell boys how, when we were teenagers, we dealt with the very same issues they face. The lessons we learned, and the price we paid for our mistakes.
  4. We create trust by telling the truth about our struggles as men. This gives the boys permission to talk about the struggles they face on their journey to manhood.
  5. We praise boys for their unique gifts and support them when they screw up.
  6. We ask boys what kind of man they want to be, and encourage and support them on their journey to become that good man.


Mentor Testimonials

“As a mentor, I get more than I give.  The joy of witnessing positive transformation in our boys is priceless.”  Chuck

“It is one of the most important things I have ever done in my life.” David

“Mentoring in Boys to Men has changed my life. It gave me a chance to help teens talk and open up in a way I was never able to do as a teen. I think I have benefitted as much as the boys”  Steve

“Being of service to the boys and to Boys to Men has opened and transformed my heart in more ways than I can express. If feels great!”  Hunter

“Boys to Men has improved my communication and connection with my son Angel.”  Octavio

Are You the One?

Email Rose at info@boystomen.org for more information.

  • Best thing in my life
  • I literally recovered lost memories of my teen years.
  • I enjoy being with the boys and being supported by the men.
  • Changed my life. Gives me purpose in retirement. Keeps me young and hopeful.
  • I am enjoying getting to know the boys I mentor, and working with the young men who can move ahead in their lives.
  • Helping boys work thru their issues has helped me with my relations with my sons and also in working with other men.
  • I learned to be myself, which is enough to help a boy feel safe to be himself.
  • Great to connect with other men and boys in the community!  Great to make a difference in their lives!
  • I am amazed at how much I have received in return. It is a privilege to be allowed this deeply into journeymen’s lives.
  • It feeds my soul. It answers to a part of me that knows this is why I am here.
  • Very rewarding and meaningful.
  • I feel a great connection to my community.
  • The richness is in hearing a teenager said thank you is worth so much to me. It grabs you. This is the magic.
  • Being a Mentor with boys to men has made me realize how important it is for these boys to have a positive role model in their lives.
  • I felt that the adolescent young man and I both gained from the relationship.
  • Beyond question. Deeply challenging and proportionately rewarding.
  • Extraordinarily rewarding spiritually and emotionally.
  • The young men allowed me to be comfortable in my own skin and to be honest with myself in order to be honest with them.
  • Mentoring IS a positive experience. Every time I sit in circle with our boys, I learn about myself, the gifts I have to give and that I can support boys in a way that I was never supported. It fills my heart to watch our boys grow, both physically and emotionally, and to hear them let me know that they trust me is one of the biggest gifts of all.
  • I greatly enjoy hanging out with the boys at the groups. I’m learning a lot.
  • Am taking huge personal benefits from being with the boys and men!
  • It was life-transforming for both me and my son.
  • It has been a challenge, very rewarding and I am learning much from the experience.
  • It is so amazing to see the light go on in a boy’s eyes.
  • I certainly had a few struggles. Had to reach down deep.
  • I’ve learned a lot, and become a better mentor. At least I hope I have.
  • I’ve learned over the years is that in order to really mentor someone you need to really know them, and build a foundation of trust.
  • I believe I am growing as a man by mentoring boys…and healing myself as well.
  • One of the most powerful experiences of my life.
  • Overall, it was a good experience for me.
  • I have grown immensely within myself as well as within the organization.